When I first quit my job just less than two years ago and opted on hiring myself, I fooled my parents and more importantly myself, into believing I had a plan. (Sorry mom and dad, but look ‘no hands!’).
In actual fact, all I had done was read a book by Miki Agrawal called Do Cool Shit that made me believe that my destiny did not lie in the hallways of a Section 3 government building.
It also made me realise that unless I found the challenges I wanted, nobody was ever going to give them to me in a conventional job.
You see, I was bored. So bored that I used to have everything done before 9am. I filled my time with creating a running blog, planning meals, attending events and decorating my house. It doesn’t sound half bad I guess, but who really wants half bad when you have all the good?
The last two years have been incredibly difficult. I had several plans and more let downs than I’d like to admit (I’m lovely, who doesn’t want to hire me for their digital content work right?). I’ve cried, and screamed into pillows and fought with my family and ignored my friends. I’ve also been completely broke and lived off lentils. But there have also been times of incredible ‘feast’, I would never of been able to see as much of the world as I have in the last two years if I was under somebody else’s guard in the employed world.
I have lain in bed and searched BizCommunity for jobs, just in case the answer was back in the safety of a salary. I have questioned my decision every day since I left my job, this has not been the breeze I’ve often made it out to be. Sometimes, I would rather just not answer the question of how I am, because I felt I might collapse on the person asking. I have sobbed in the bath so I couldn’t tell my own tears from the water, because having a job, is the easiest thing in the world by comparison, take it from me.
And then there are the great times. My blog being recognised by readers as something they enjoy, people recognising my name in magazines and probably the best, clients that can’t let me go even when the contracts end.
My struggle continues every day. I fight for more hours, I worry I haven’t been a good daughter or sister, expect my friends to dump me for the time I spend behind a laptop or on the phone when I’m with them. Sometimes it’s also all too clear that to be an entrepreneur means that you really shouldn’t have any social life whatsoever, because who needs support when you break down and can’t say the words anyway right?
Today however, was a great day. I had a contract extended on one of my favourite clients, I bought a copy of Food & Home Entertaining with my first feature in it and I got a great offer for the blog. I have so much to be grateful for today, that I had a glass of vino and danced down to my self-employment theme tune, Katy Perry’s ROAR.
I still have a very rough plan for what I’m doing, but today I know that whatever I’ve done is sending me in the right direction. And yes, sometime I do take lunchtime naps… and then feel terribly guilty afterwards.
I would like to salute all of the powerful women that I’ve encountered on this journey too. There have been very few inspiring men on this journey for me, but there have been countless women. This post is dedicated to them, all the women pushing for their own version of success that I’ve had the chance to befriend and work with in the last few months, I have learnt a great deal from you all.
And if you would like to me, or just get a better idea of what it is that I do, then head on over to the Work with IndiKate Media page.
Big love, dear readers x
Comments (32)
This is awesome! Massive congrats and looking forward to seeing where this journey takes you. Onwards and upwards!
Thanks Madame xx
Well done queen Kate.. that signature is destined for greatness
Haha I can’t believe you remember that!!
Great post x
Thanks Andrea x
Feels like a month ago that we spoke about whether you’ve had a freelance freakout or not. Two years is such a short time to grow from not having a plan, to having client contracts renewed, and having work published in magazines (well, I guess it gets tricky for our generation, as it often feels like we are supposed to take over the world in 2 years :) Congratulations Kate
Thanks you, and totally agree on the taking over the world part. It’s on my to do list for later today ;)
YES! I’m 3 years in and am still doing the “was this the right thing? it was the right thing. oh God I’ve screwed up. someone hire me fulltime. No, get away from me with that” conversation.
Grateful for every single bit of work that works, every lesson and every single time I fistpump and go “I did that!” I know it’s like that for you too. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR FEATURE! Dance all day. XX
I danced until midnight and then went to bed like a respectable gal in her 30s.
So much truth in your story. And once you employ people it gets even harder and you worry every day about the people whose livelihoods you are responsible for. But it’s such a good feeling to wake up every day and know that you’re in charge (relatively speaking), that you get to control your own destiny – plus you get to work with so many great brands doing such amazing things. I’m so happy for you Kate – you truly deserve this!!!
Thanks V, you’re definitely one of the strong women I’ve mentioned! It’s been fantastic to work with you over the past few months!
This is such an inspiring read, thanks Kate! I’ve just started out (with no plan) and some days are great and then others… I look at myself in the mirror and go: “what were you thinking?” Congrats on your feature and keep doing your amazing work! :D
Thanks for the kind words Nadia, enjoy the thrill of the beginning and remember this all when you panic, the universe always seems to work things out for you in the end ;)
I am so happy for you that it is all working out after all your hard work! Good Luck for the future!!
Dankie liefling x
Love the honesty in this. You are my hero! Maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to give it a try. Keep up the great work – and enjoy those midday glasses of wine. You deserve them! :)
Ah thanks Jenna! Hopefully we’ll see each other soon!
Onward and upward Kate… there is absolutely no reason that you shouldn’t succeed, you are a super talented, fantabulous individual and the world is yours to take. “What you going to do today Kate?”…. “Be fabulous like every other day.”
Thanks for the laugh Yvette xx Hope you’re well?
Great post, thanks, Kate. I’m exactly ten years into hiring myself, and I still doubt my decision regularly, and will go have a good cry where no one can see me. Nothing prepares you for the immense personal strain of running your own business, and — a bit like parenting — if you haven’t actually done it yourself you simply can’t know what it’s like. So honest takes on the experience are so important for fellow self-employers to see. The good days are indeed magical, though. Here’s to many more of those.
Loved reading this Kate! #inspired #livethelife youwant Stay as awesome and cool as you are
Ah thank you xx
This is fabulous news, lovely lovely Kate. Hard work, extreme courage, loads of talent and your crazy, bubbly personality, creative spirit and zest for life will just see you shooting beyond the stars.
Thrilled for you.
THIS IS THE BEST. I HAVE BEEN LUCKY TO WATCH MY LOVELY LADY GO THROUGH THE SAME THING AND I COULDN’T BE PROUDER OF BOTH OF YOU. ENJOY THE SPOILS KATE -THE-BEST (YOUR NEW NAME).
Haha thanks. I’m happy to be the proud owner of my very own caps comment.
Great blog Kate. And yes : high five to so many inspirational women. Have fun in Kenya!
Thanks Liz!
Yep, its a very scary place to be!! I’ve been freelancing since 1998. Yikes!!! At the beginning of September this year I had no work come in for two weeks, and with all my contracts having come to an end things felt bleak. But as luck would have it, I consulted my native American Sacred Path Cards (not that I’m a flake or anything!) and asked a simple question: “How can I expand my bank balance considerably!” My bank balance was looking the grimmest it had in five years and I was worried. The message from the Sacred Path card I picked was that I need to reconnect with the earth. So I promptly took myself off to the James and Ethel Gray Park in Melrose, Joburg, and went to find the perfect tree. It wasn’t the biggest or best looking tree in the park, but I felt it had potential. So I took off my shoes and circled the tree seven times, giving thanks and connecting with the earth. In the beginning, dodging all the litter around the tree felt uncomfortable but after a while I barely noticed it. At the end of my seven spirals I hugged the tree, giving thanks again. The very next day the phone rang and i received a R21 500 commission, and the work hasn’t stopped following in since then. What can I say: Happiness!!!
I loved this, thank you.
LOVE THIS!!!
Amen! Sister!